Ep.81 How to Stop Procrastinating - with Robin J Emdon

00:00:00: Welcome back, friends to another episode of the online business by design podcast.

00:00:04: It's your host Ivana Ivonek and so excited you are listening today because I'm bringing in a topic that is discussed but sometimes we don't even know when we're procrastinating what we certainly do not know how much we keep ourselves from progress or growth how much energy we are wasting on things, thoughts.

00:00:34: And I did bring an incredible expert to this topic who is Robin J. Emden.

00:00:42: He has developed the Get Resultsology Momentum formula and we're going deep dive into that today.

00:00:51: Welcome to the online business by design podcast.

00:00:54: I'm your host, Ivana Yvonnek and this is your mindset in marketing podcasts to help you build a business next year nine-to-five without burning out And most importantly enjoying your business journey while making money and impact.

00:01:09: Grab your favorite note taking device lean back and get inspired!

00:01:13: I believe that everything you need To Build A Business Of Your Dreams Is Already Within You.

00:01:18: Welcome to The Show Robin.

00:01:21: Thank you very much.

00:01:22: I'm excited to be here and well done for getting your head around that, yeah It rolls off my tongue now but the first two or three hundred million times i said it i also tripped up on.

00:01:30: get results all of you as well.

00:01:32: so

00:01:32: oh i went into this conversation With a thought.

00:01:36: i'm going to embarrass myself couple of times today although i practiced before.

00:01:40: But is hard word?

00:01:42: So is procrastination robin?

00:01:46: let us know shortly.

00:01:47: when did you realize that u procrastinated?

00:01:51: how did this show up.

00:01:53: Sure okay well there's a little background story very short back ground story which is the two thousand one.

00:01:59: i promise your not gonna go forward week by month, year-by-year.

00:02:03: But in two thousand and one I trained as a life coach in America under the tutelage of Tony Robbins and his organization And i became a live coach.

00:02:11: but I did it back here In England where I'm still living.

00:02:15: obviously from you can tell by the accent I had young children over here, i didn't want to move to the states and his plans changed my plan's change.

00:02:24: so i set that up by business in the UK did it for two or three years.

00:02:27: then as luck would have it became a full-time single father.

00:02:30: And i let life coaching business go to focus on being a parent.

00:02:36: Cut forward You'll be relieved to hear it, two thousand and nineteen.

00:02:40: And I'm sat in a coffee shop when i'm having a coffee with my older brother... ...and I'm bragging!

00:02:44: I got my

00:02:44: degree!!

00:02:45: I've got my

00:02:46: Degree!!

00:02:47: I work from home and I have my

00:02:48: Degrees!!!

00:02:49: I am really pleased of myself because.. ..I never finished my Education.

00:02:52: I didn't have time when I was younger to do that.

00:02:54: He said oh is at the Time?

00:02:56: I gotta go.

00:02:57: and I thought that's Older Brothers for

00:02:58: you??

00:02:59: And he said you know

00:02:59: what?!

00:03:00: I said trust me to take ten years to do something I should have done in six, referring to the fact that the degree was six years part-time.

00:03:09: And he went yeah why was that?

00:03:12: and i thought oh yeah the caffeine's kicking in now isn't it...and i'm like oh you know procrastination!

00:03:19: and i laughed.

00:03:20: and he laughed when we changed the subject.

00:03:21: ...and then driving home i was thinking wait a minute that was really what.

00:03:26: uh you know a face palm moment for me.

00:03:28: what am i talking about?

00:03:29: procrastination Robin?

00:03:31: This is an inner dialogue going on now.

00:03:33: Robin, you're a trained life coach.

00:03:36: how dare you procrastinate?

00:03:38: How dare your former clients would be ashamed of you?

00:03:41: they never procrastinated and I thought well no i didn't let them.

00:03:43: oh that's interesting but how come I

00:03:46: procrastinated?".

00:03:47: And then I asked myself two coaching questions which are sort of... You'd never forget these things as where else in your life does this show up absolutely everywhere, and I thought well what does it cost me?

00:03:59: And then i started adding up.

00:04:00: you know relationships family issues career issues finances health.I was sixty pounds heavier at that time!and I realized It Was All Down To Chronic Procrastination.

00:04:14: and as I really slapped in my head by the time we got home... ...I was both very angry with myself and frustrated.

00:04:23: I'd also incredibly upset because i realized the cost of what it costs me.

00:04:28: What are you used to do with procrastination?

00:04:30: Because i needed think about this, where did that come from?

00:04:35: And before Covid people would get a common cold and say oh i've got a cold don't worry!

00:04:43: You know i'll be fine.

00:04:45: we won't do that now cause it might be Covid but we're more cautious But we use to do that for eons.

00:04:51: Oh I'm just procrastinating today, oh don't worry i'll do it tomorrow.

00:04:57: Well tomorrow became the next day and The Next Day And The Next Week ,and The Next Month .And The Next Year.. ..and The New Decade... ..and THE NEXT DECADE!

00:05:07: And I hadn't registered because I'd always just wiped away.... ...and thought okay well I must know what the cure is for procrastination?

00:05:14: I'm bound to know what it

00:05:15: is!!

00:05:15: I am trained for goodness

00:05:16: sake!!!

00:05:17: and I rang my brother who was a mental health professional, told him about this epiphany i'd had on the way home or facepalm moment.

00:05:24: And i said just remind me what's the tablet that you take?

00:05:26: The special little tablet that You can buy from the chemist Or the pharmacist...and they will give you This tablet in the procrastination Just miraculously evaporates!

00:05:37: He knew why he was getting out.

00:05:38: What is the method?

00:05:39: What do ya' Do?

00:05:39: It would be like There s just A tumbleweed of silence From Him And hes a Mental Health Professional.

00:05:46: And he said, do you know?

00:05:47: I'm not really sure.

00:05:49: Oh if you're not sure and i ought to know...I must know!

00:05:53: Of course I know don't

00:05:54: I?!

00:05:56: Then we had the gift that keeps on giving which in an ironic sense Covid with all the lockdowns Which gave me time To look into it.

00:06:02: so thats how I stumbled upon It and realised That was a chronic procrastinator.

00:06:10: One of my first statistics is something like ninety five percent people will own up procrastinators.

00:06:16: sometimes I'll do the dishes later oh you know well i'll tidy the garage later.

00:06:21: we all did that but actually there's a hidden statistic which most of us won't own up to procrastinating at all not in the way i'm talking about.

00:06:29: But are those ninety five percent who have say they procrastinate some times.

00:06:34: one and five twenty percent of them struggle with what im describing chronic procrastination, my definition is simply life changing it life damaging.

00:06:46: You know it's irrational.

00:06:47: And yet, and if you don't do something today that you need to get done in no there is a cost then you can still do or

00:06:55: we'll dive into this.

00:06:56: I think This is extremely important but i would like To go A little bit back when he said That It showed up In every area of my life.

00:07:06: How Robin?

00:07:08: Because procrastinating behaviors are okay.

00:07:13: let's just take one step back.

00:07:14: Think about behavior Whatever you are doing in the moment, apart from the prescribed things that we do like right now.

00:07:23: We're both working having a nice time.

00:07:25: It's lovely meeting you again chatting on video but were working and it is a big privilege

00:07:30: to do so.

00:07:30: I never procrastinate podcasting because this isn't allowed

00:07:34: Right?

00:07:35: But when left our own devices... ...we still need to get all human needs met.

00:07:43: I don't mean physical I'm not talking about food, i'm talking about our emotional needs and we still need to get them met.

00:07:52: And so the distinction is that a procrastinating behaviour just it feels in the moment better but makes you happier than the behavior your avoiding.

00:08:06: now It may be that you are guilt ridden and worried about the thing that you're avoiding But In That Moment Irrationally, it feels better.

00:08:16: So the simplest form of procrastination is comfort eating.

00:08:19: that's why I was sixty pounds heavier and i've dropped that weight since I stopped procrastinating habitually...I have to work on it!

00:08:26: It's not something that just goes away because I'll give you a hint..it's an inside job.

00:08:30: we're hard-wired to procrastinate but I don't comfort eat as much as I used to or to the point that damages my health.

00:08:37: But going for example Make some food when you're not really hungry is preferable to sitting down and filling in that spreadsheet.

00:08:47: That, You've got a get done.

00:08:49: so it just feels better.

00:08:50: So even though the behavior Logically rationally think why am I doing this?

00:08:57: The behavior Just Feels It makes you feel happier And so that's what he do.

00:09:02: it so thats and so it Manifest.

00:09:05: your point was well.

00:09:06: how come its an area of every era of your life?

00:09:08: because In Every Area Of Your Life there are things that Feel Uncomfortable And so our natural, it's just a natural thing to say well I'll do something that feels a bit more comfortable then.

00:09:18: The psychologists tell us everything is motivated by two things the avoidance of pain or the gaining pleasure.

00:09:26: and if you put it under your umbrella when you are procrastinating either avoiding pain because in your mind or the seeking of pleasure.

00:09:43: Oh, I'll go and play some games!

00:09:44: Or a hike up that mountain...I do anything that i find preferable to filling out that spreadsheet making that phone call.

00:09:51: they don't want me make paying them bill not afforded.

00:09:53: pay

00:09:54: now like no from your own because you mentioned just before saying that as we procrastinate in let's say walk through the fridge and grab some food although when it really hungry V are seeking pleasure moment while we're avoiding something difficult.

00:10:12: But we are struggling with guilt, we're struggling with like... We are conscious somewhat about the fact that we should be filling out a spreadsheet which please don't do spreadsheets if you're an entrepreneur!

00:10:26: This is another way of procrastinating because we've got to do more things like marketing for example.

00:10:34: but even though that we are not doing the thing, We're still experiencing more pleasure than what outcome would give us and therefore don't do it.

00:10:46: How can we trick our consciousness so easily?

00:10:51: Because honestly sitting in guilt is nothing comfortable either going to bed by end of day knowing you haven't done anything should have been or you didn't know what said be doing It's still easier then doing.

00:11:06: How can we justify that?

00:11:09: Oh, you can't justify it but you have to understand.

00:11:12: It which is why a third of my book has given over just understanding the reason I say understanding important and really important several someone said to me early on when I was first getting this technology out.

00:11:25: then they said oh don't care about understanding what the pill is i want take.

00:11:31: And I said, if you don't understand it... Oh!

00:11:33: You don't care about that.

00:11:34: But he didn't want to know.

00:11:36: but let me explain to you If we get the next calendar year and have enough money in your bank account We can always think of ways To make more money.

00:11:49: There is an infinite supply Of money because we print money Although we cannot print without going to jail Because we are not a government.

00:11:59: how good or bad we are at that is another story, but we can find ways to make more money.

00:12:04: But if you get to the end of that year and you realise you've wasted a year of your life doing things that you didn't really need to be doing shouldn't have been done... Didn't want to be do it!

00:12:13: ...but he was doing them anyway And you not made progress on THAT in your LIFE.

00:12:18: That year's gone You spent IT and YOU CANNOT GET IT BACK Now..you don't know How much time you got infront of you BUT YOU DO KNOW that you can't get back at times.

00:12:29: So the time to catch procrastination is when you are indulging in it, not afterwards and think oh god what happened last year?

00:12:37: What happened over two decades!

00:12:39: In my case The reason we procrastinate is an answer for your question.

00:12:46: It's because its inside job.

00:12:48: We're hardwired To procrastinate.

00:12:52: And if you think of very simplistic terms you know the bodies that we inhabit now in our fine twenty-first century clothes, well your fine fit and my city twenty first century clothes is at the same body that are ancestors inhabited ten thousand years ago.

00:13:08: And they're sat on a cave and there's a man eating bear outside that wants you for lunch!

00:13:14: You've got your young family with you and your partner and you thinking oh my goodness if I i've gotta go out and kill that bear because it wants us.

00:13:24: But if I go out to kill the bear, it might kill me and i might be at lunch.

00:13:30: Or... If I stay in here we may all starve to death!

00:13:35: Oh what am I gonna do?

00:13:36: oh I know..I think I'll procrastinate for a while because that's really scary.

00:13:41: That is a very difficult thought And there are no happy solutions to this.

00:13:46: Couple of those with the thought.

00:13:50: If you think about what your brain is designed to do, it only has two jobs.

00:13:55: Job number one is your survival.

00:13:59: everything your brain does on a day-to-day basis from the moment you are born until the moment You die Is About Survival?

00:14:05: Job Number Two is Procreation.

00:14:08: That's it!

00:14:08: Survival of The Species.

00:14:11: that's all you're hardwired To Do and inside Your Brain there Are Two Mouth.

00:14:17: I need to preface this, i am not a scientist.

00:14:20: I wrote a book with an ology in the title kind of as bit of joke really because...I was actually nodding acknowledgement too and went into science for information And created method which is scientific.

00:14:34: but I'm rubbish at science personally But can read it and go.

00:14:38: okay think that's got basics.

00:14:41: Now translate that into English.

00:14:44: So just explain.

00:14:46: what comes next is my attempt to translate science, very bad science.

00:14:52: My Very Bad Science into English-my bad understanding of it.

00:14:55: but I do know that inside here we have two centers that i'm interested in.

00:14:59: one is the limbic system which is where all of that survival stuff comes from and The Limbic System Is Immensely Powerful!

00:15:07: The limbic systems are when someone shouts Man Eating Lion you go Right Run And You Just Run.

00:15:15: In fact you don't even think Run, or as I always say make sure you put your trainers on first because even though the person next to you will say well You can't run fast.

00:15:24: You can outrun a lion Yeah But if i put my trainers on that can run faster than you.

00:15:28: Simple logic right survival it but you don't even have time.

00:15:31: think about That really?

00:15:32: I mean obviously that's a silly joke cuz you wouldn't think you'd just run You wouldn't make it but he'll just run.

00:15:38: but yeah this and its immensely powerful And that's where procrastination sets It's instinctive is hardwired into your brain because it's part of your survival mechanism.

00:15:50: You don't need to think about that.

00:15:53: bear is going kill me, you just know the bear will kill you.

00:15:57: The other part sits up here underneath your hat and its prefrontal cortex And in evolutionary terms Its much younger than an olympic system In daily term.

00:16:11: if you're under twenty five It not even fully developed.

00:16:13: which?

00:16:14: why so many students Are the subject of research into procrastination?

00:16:19: A, because universities are where they do their research.

00:16:21: Which is why we have hundreds papers on it and B Because that prefrontal cortex has not fully developed.

00:16:27: what happens in the prefront or cortex?

00:16:28: all the rational thinking That you're talking about?

00:16:32: Why can't I do this?

00:16:33: Well You know why am i giving him to be easy stuff when I now've got To Do The Rational Stuff way I dress This Up In The Book as I say look okay I Can't you Know.

00:16:42: There's.

00:16:43: so how Do All These Things in The Brainwork?

00:16:45: And The Answer Is there are three neurotransmitters.

00:16:48: Now, if you're a non-scientist like me your brain is already starting to fog over.

00:16:53: it's like what is he talking about?

00:16:54: Neurotransmitter!

00:16:55: I'll go one step further... You need acetylchloride dopamine and noradrenaline pardon?

00:17:01: What?!

00:17:02: That was when i read those.

00:17:05: okay so instead i thought i'd translate them into English.

00:17:08: And what do they each do?

00:17:11: Dopamine is a famous one.

00:17:12: It's like the rock star of neuro-transmitters, everybody has heard it... Oh yeah!

00:17:18: I love that dopamine fix i had on that fast

00:17:20: background.

00:17:21: What makes us smart everything but doesn't make us finish it?

00:17:25: That's right.

00:17:26: But also what makes us think rationally.

00:17:31: So I call the dopamine conductor an orchestra and they reside in prefrontal cortex and in the prefrontal cortex there's all the disparate parts of your mindset everything that you need to get done today this month, this year.

00:17:47: And they will make an absolute cacophony of sound...an awful sound.

00:17:51: until a conductor says no here is your music!

00:17:54: Now everybody move to my beat and conduct their music for life.

00:18:00: so the conductor needs to be in building making those decisions But they reside in the prefrontal cortex.

00:18:07: They have nothing to do with the limbic system, which is a problem.

00:18:11: So then the other thing that you need is The scholar.

00:18:15: and scholar is noradrenaline.

00:18:17: Noradrenalin is present in your body In your brain principally when you're a child because noradrenalina is the neurotransmitter of focus.

00:18:30: And if you're focusing right now and you are absorbed in what your saying, well thank me.

00:18:33: Thank You very much.

00:18:34: But also I'm saying but thank you very much...but also Because you are learning..and taking it In the way that you know that Norah Jennerlin is present by The Way Is If you say Well i'll sit down and do some work for an hour Or just five minutes?

00:18:48: Then look at your watch and Five hours have gone past!

00:18:51: You were focused!

00:18:52: You lost track of time....you were focussed!

00:18:53: Well children Do That all the Time.

00:18:55: They get completely absorbed in things.

00:18:57: Why?!

00:18:58: because It's a survival mechanism Although children take a long time to go from being absolutely helpless, To be able look after themselves as an adult.

00:19:07: They learn how speak their language and understand the language in very short order.

00:19:13: at no other point of your lifetime can you learn our languages faster than when we were a child.

00:19:17: they learned to walk.

00:19:18: then they learnt run all about dangers everyday life At a rapidly accelerated rate.

00:19:25: that's because they are focused and the noradrenaline is making them be a scholar of life.

00:19:31: In adulthood, the kicker is Noradrenalin is not naturally present And we have to manufacture it.

00:19:36: Well there's no tablet to take for that.

00:19:39: Instead what you do Is create an environment in which You can focus.

00:19:44: So thats why We talk about eliminating distractions.

00:19:47: Every procrastinator productivity expert Tells you eliminate the distractions Absolutely because you're trying to get the noradrenaline to kick in.

00:19:55: The final one, and I find this one the most interesting...I call him or her the fun-sized warrior!

00:20:02: Fun sized like little chocolate bars that go into your lunchboxes when going to school.

00:20:07: Fun?

00:20:08: And

00:20:08: small?!

00:20:10: Because it's a LITTLE

00:20:11: warrior!!

00:20:12: What you need A LITTle Warrior for is you'd NEED THAT LITTL BIT OF ANXIETY, THAT LITTLE BIT of

00:20:17: STRESS!!!

00:20:18: So right now as i'm talking to you..I am sat on my seat If I lean back, which i won't do because it'll pull the headphones out my ears.

00:20:26: if I lean Back and get all relaxed.

00:20:28: I'll lose my train of thought instantly.

00:20:30: Mm-hmm right?

00:20:31: Because I'm too relaxed.

00:20:33: I need that edge And I need That little bit of nervousness about.

00:20:38: I really need to get this done.

00:20:39: then I need To get it down today.

00:20:40: just a Little bit.

00:20:42: Why fun sized?

00:20:43: because The big warrior is what the limbic system Is and you need the Big Warrior to stay in their barracks.

00:20:51: When there's a man eating tiger or lion outside coming after you, You need the big warrior to come out.

00:20:58: But The Big Warrior is very easily triggered.

00:21:01: They are very protective survival mechanism... ...you get an unexpected bill that scares the heck Out of you because you don't know how your gonna pay it.

00:21:10: Big Warrior comes out!

00:21:11: You Get bad news about your health Or loved ones' health.. Big Warrior Comes out.

00:21:17: None Of Those Things Need Big Warrior Because what you need to do about it is ask the conductor... ...to come up with a plan.

00:21:24: But right now, you're in panic mode.

00:21:27: You are like, oh my goodness!

00:21:28: What am I going to do?

00:21:29: You're scared And that's because its an evolutionary and old system where fear was immediate.

00:21:38: but unfortunately although these days things often aren't immediate.

00:21:43: It still very easily triggered.

00:21:46: Then conductors were like I'm going out for lunch and they are.

00:21:51: You might as well just put a little sign up on your head saying, Out to Lunch!

00:21:55: I am worrying about bills... My health....I am worried about my loved one's health..... I worry about this...... I worry that big warrior is in charge....... I am out to battle life.

00:22:07: but don't ask me do anything rational today because i am not capable of thinking rationally.

00:22:13: Unfortunately being an instinctive behaviour is much stronger than a rational, carefully thought-out

00:22:20: behaviour.

00:22:21: And this how we justify because I will put it in my language perhaps from an experience and... ...I am real believer in good sleep that they can care of myself because only this way i can deliver what I deliver.

00:22:39: but when im tired as an excuse and I procrastinate because i said,

00:23:05: Okay, you're taking advantage of your own nature and saying yeah I don't really need to rest.

00:23:17: That's

00:23:17: the tricky one.

00:23:18: that's The awareness we need to have and be like okay And do i really now make a test or are using it as an excuse in a procrastinate because there is something very difficult on my desk?

00:23:28: Which Is why?

00:23:28: One Of The Strategies?

00:23:29: And I Have Many Strategies In My Book Because No Two People Are The Same.

00:23:32: So Here Is The One Strategy That Works For Everyone.

00:23:36: I say no You Have To Pick A Mix You Have to Choose You have a toolbox of strategies and you have to pick the best tool.

00:23:42: One of the tools, it's very powerful one is understand your energy levels.

00:23:47: Understand if you're a morning person then do your main work in the morning.

00:23:50: If you are night-person don't be doing that in the evening, chill in the mornin Right?

00:23:57: And understand after lunch or high carbohydrate we know this will knock out for couple hours.

00:24:04: So either avoid the high carbohydrate lunch or make sure you don't schedule anything too important in that time.

00:24:10: Or both?

00:24:11: Yeah, if I

00:24:12: sum this up now Robin and we say okay... We have now the awareness what procrastination is how it shows in our life.

00:24:18: And then actually.. You know ..we are experts at fooling ourselves ...and than also knowing whether to maintain energy levels How do we proceed with building momentum?

00:24:35: Well, I'm going to go a little step further and talk you about what i call M-Cubed.

00:24:41: M-cubed is the three Ms.

00:24:43: The first one Is motivation.

00:24:45: now if You're looking for motivation To get more productive oh my goodness there's no shortage of motivational material out There?

00:24:51: I got a cupboard full of Motivational but I have motivational planners!I've Got shells Full Of Motivation books.

00:24:58: I called them My Shelf Development Books.

00:25:01: But the reason that my cupboard is full of motivational stuff and it's in a cupboard, is because the motivational stuff starts to subside.

00:25:11: You lose your head of steam – It wears out!

00:25:14: And you have then find other ways to get motivated but that's only one for three.

00:25:18: The second one is momentum.

00:25:21: A momentum is what I address on the book In third section.

00:25:24: So we've got strategies to help us get motivated But now all you need is keep doing this.

00:25:32: Maybe that you're planning to retire a year from now and your need will be there, fine.

00:25:35: But if you've got forty years in front of you how are going?

00:25:37: keep going?

00:25:39: Right?

00:25:40: so You NEED that momentum.

00:25:43: but the third one is mastery OF YOURSELF!

00:25:48: YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND why you're procrastinating.

00:25:52: That's section I of my system.

00:25:54: You need to understand which strategies will get you motivated and keep your motivated the best, And You need to understand which strategies Will help you maintain daily weekly monthly yearly Decadely momentum on working On the things that really matter To you not stuff.

00:26:17: That doesn't matter to you so much?

00:26:20: In order to do that you Need to master Which ones work for you and which doesn't So understanding your energy levels.

00:26:28: And you mentioned now accountability.

00:26:31: Yes,

00:26:33: I think this is something holding oneself accountable for what we said...I see many people struggle with me including Robin because i said so many times after my first business failed and plan-i'm gonna come back..and was planning to come back almost a decade.

00:26:50: Accountability's an interesting one!

00:26:53: And she said, what are you doing now?

00:26:55: I told her and I'm writing a book about procrastination productivity.

00:26:58: She said oh do people that then!

00:27:03: Well yeah...I hit it with the statistic just how many?

00:27:06: but i know you don't.

00:27:08: Then she said no..i don't.

00:27:11: and I leaned in closer and said tell me more because success leaves clues.

00:27:15: I want to know your secrets or if can use this.

00:27:18: She told something which alot of people will tell you Oh I hold myself internally accountable.

00:27:24: I just tell myself, this lovely reward that i want...I can have it when I've done XYZ today.

00:27:32: When I'm doing my spreadsheet and the stuff I don't wanna do!

00:27:35: That's a lovely reward for

00:27:36: me.".

00:27:36: And then she said, oh every

00:27:38: time!"

00:27:39: Great!

00:27:40: It doesn't work on me?

00:27:42: No.. I was in conversation earlier like I didn't need to achieve anything to reward myself.

00:27:48: This would be a huge problem.

00:27:50: These strategies...

00:27:51: In my case, and I can't speak for you but to me it's because i'm a rebel!

00:27:55: I am not a rebel in the revolutionary sense.

00:27:57: You know come The Revolution I'll be hiding under the stairs.

00:28:01: So I rebelled all of time..in little ways Nothing....I´m very lightweight rebel But I do It in My Own Life All Of Time.

00:28:08: Who Says I Can't Have That Nice Thing?

00:28:11: Who says I want IT

00:28:13: NOW?!

00:28:14: And I have it, and then like...and i tell myself well I'm going to have it now.

00:28:18: AND THEN I'LL DO THE WORK!

00:28:20: Right?

00:28:21: But..I don't!

00:28:25: Because I give interviews.

00:28:26: so I thought okay that doesn't work for me.

00:28:28: It worked with my friend and he works a lot of people with internal accountability.

00:28:32: but when I looked at the research....it was really the research.

00:28:34: you see I told you that I stopped coaching in the early two thousands.

00:28:39: I hadn't come back to it in two thousand and nineteen.

00:28:42: The research brought me back, the research kept saying that he was screaming at my... That one thing makes a difference with the momentum element of MQ is external accountability And external accountability if you think about this is the one thing.

00:29:01: If your like me then work for yourself Work from home as solopreneur No boss!

00:29:07: distractions everywhere.

00:29:08: I've got a nice coffee machine, i've got nice view from my window...I have great flexible hours and can work when I want to.

00:29:14: around clients of course but never let them down!

00:29:18: But you know what?

00:29:20: I'm not going to work this morning because I don't need it.

00:29:22: And out of respect & empathy You cant reproduce those when your working at home internally.

00:29:29: My friend that was telling me about does but she's an exception to the rule, not the rule itself.

00:29:35: Most people can't do that.

00:29:37: some can bless you.

00:29:39: good luck to you... But most of us can't!

00:29:44: I want that cake now i'm going have it right?

00:29:48: So external accountability is why AI doesn't bother me personally because You Can't recreate empathy with AI.

00:29:56: If I could tell my AI system Hold me accountable, send me messages.

00:30:03: Tell me this tell me that you know tell me off when I don't do things and all of That.

00:30:08: would i care?

00:30:09: Of course not.

00:30:10: no

00:30:10: it's not

00:30:11: real.

00:30:12: Accountability needs to be someone who really

00:30:15: here are creatures or we're heard creatures.

00:30:19: People aren't no matter how many people never believe.

00:30:21: somebody says i'm an individualist i only need my stuff its rubbish.

00:30:25: I mean, in this country we call it... Okay.

00:30:28: So you take your rubbish to the tip?

00:30:30: No!

00:30:32: The Refuse Collector takes your rubbish-to-the-tip All right.

00:30:36: so you're not an independent person at all.

00:30:38: do you generate your own electricity?

00:30:40: no You let the Country Generate the Electricity just pay a bill.

00:30:44: but socially We are herd creatures.

00:30:48: Socially we look up some people and down others But we look up to some and that's what an accountability coach does.

00:30:57: We look at our boss.

00:30:58: You don't have.

00:30:59: it helps if you respect them, but I mean certainly with.

00:31:03: there is a professional relationship though It's vital.

00:31:06: But you wouldn't respect AI?

00:31:07: of course not because it doesn't exist.

00:31:10: none exists its electronic electronics um...but That empathy the herd thing?

00:31:17: So Let me give your practical illustration or what i mean.

00:31:22: Let's say you have a passion project for your business something that nothing to do with your clients.

00:31:27: But but when we've done it, It will be amazing.

00:31:29: Your clients or love you for and You know, it's going to take you six months.

00:31:33: When are you gonna start?

00:31:34: Well We'll probably go great guns at it today in tomorrow And then I think another day off.

00:31:40: oh Yeah, I enjoyed that.

00:31:41: i'm Gonna Have Another Day Off from doing That.

00:31:43: Weeks Go by and it's like Oh Wait A minute!

00:31:46: I was Going To Get This Done In Six Months...when Was

00:31:48: That?!

00:31:49: Oh That Six Month Spired Three Months ago.

00:31:52: I haven't done it, right?

00:31:54: And the reason that we do that is a known phenomenon.

00:31:57: It's just...it's too far out!

00:31:58: ...It's just too ethereal as a target and the only person holding you to it is yourself and you're like yeah i'd rather go fishing for a walk or watch TV.

00:32:09: We call that procrastinating behaviour by-the way but sometimes its genuine rest & relaxation They are very hard to tell apart.

00:32:16: sometimes You need both.

00:32:19: You definitely need the rest of relaxation and sometimes you do need that genuine time off which others may call procrastination.

00:32:25: So, but if you had a boss they said right we want I don't care how long...I don' t care how you do it But you've got six months.

00:32:35: Oh by the way i'm gonna check in with you every week just to make sure your on track mm-hmm.

00:32:40: so okay yeah..but at the end What?

00:32:42: what?

00:32:43: Do I have to do well by the end of the first week?

00:32:47: Well, yeah.

00:32:47: But what happens if I don't do that?

00:32:49: I can do that at the end of the month.

00:32:50: Yeah You could but i'm holding you to account To Do it At The End Of The Week.

00:32:53: Then It Gets Done And YOU ARE THEN THINKING FOR THE WHOLE WEEK.

00:32:57: I DON'T WANT TO LET THEM DOWN!

00:32:59: I WANTTA GET IT DONE!

00:33:00: I PROMISED!

00:33:01: I EMPATHIZE WITH WHAT THEY'RE SAYING!

00:33:04: I FEEL... I DONT WANTTO LET THE MEDDAN!

00:33:06: I RESPECT THEM!

00:33:06: IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME!

00:33:08: I think this is amazing.

00:33:10: What you're saying Robin..I just desire for everyone listening to get your book in their hands.

00:33:17: I started reading it, It's brilliantly written!

00:33:21: i love the fact that there is not a strategy.

00:33:26: you have to do this strategy but You can pick.

00:33:28: There are things That...I always say whatever you read Whatever you listen To take what serves you What you get immediately implement and leave The rest.

00:33:36: And I think Your Book Is just amazing.

00:33:41: Read more and more.

00:33:42: And I think this is one of those books you can read over again, I will make sure that the book it's in the show notes.

00:33:48: You have easy access to it.

00:33:50: Go get it because your dream matters Your business matters?

00:33:55: Your vision matters everything you bring to the world.

00:33:58: That life you want to create matters.

00:34:00: and it matters today not in ten years and Speaking off in ten or later.

00:34:06: Robin how Are you planning on spending your old years?

00:34:12: One of the things I've lived my whole life, I love adding value.

00:34:17: It's a marketing thing i guess but it resonates for me.

00:34:21: make a difference and to me...I mean I've got two grown-up boys now that I raised as a single parent And To Me That's Already My Legacy Because You Know The Conductor They Were My Orchestra And now they're independent of me, and then make their own music.

00:34:42: They have their own orchestra.

00:34:44: What am I going to do in the next ten years?

00:34:46: Well i guess im gonna carry on doing this because Im really passionate about making a difference!

00:34:50: I wanna get my book out there as well.

00:34:52: By the way its not about selling books...I give them away.

00:34:55: You can buy it at a printed book But your show notes.

00:34:58: you've already got it but you will print the link where people just download it as pdf Because I want people to have these.

00:35:04: I love that.

00:35:05: Absolutely, yeah obviously if people want more help... If they want the accountability then i would recommend get yourself an Accountability Coach.

00:35:13: doesn't have to be me!

00:35:14: I am available for bookings but I do Bermitsfers weddings, dunes, baptisms all of you about it..I Do Accountability Coaching?

00:35:21: Of course we do because when I was writing in a book I thought I can do That.

00:35:24: my clients eighty percent of The results that They got came from the twenty percent and held them accountable.

00:35:31: But I want to make a really important distinction here and, And i think it ties in nicely with the question you've asked me about for the next ten years.

00:35:54: that when you are sat watching a box set on TV, or eating over-eating something that you know shouldn't be eating.

00:36:05: Or doing any of the other behaviours that are classic procrastinating behaviours because they feel great in the moment... If you know at this point it's not rest and relaxation going there which is a valid thing to do but that is genuine procrastination and it means the life you want, passion project your working on isn't happening.

00:36:28: Your personal life vision of how to see yourself five ten fifteen twenty years from now will not happen because they are eating pizza watching a TV box set rubbing their hair off in back-of-the-sofa.

00:36:41: if you know what you're doing instead Then that's what I want to change for you in the next ten years.

00:36:49: I see myself getting this technology out there and helping as many people as i can both Individually, and indirectly To achieve their life dreams to make a difference so that they could Make a difference.

00:37:03: So i guess but really why?

00:37:04: I suppose The short answer your question is my passion Is helping other People achieve Their Passion.

00:37:10: Love That And i know You will do so.

00:37:13: Thank you so much Robin for being such an incredible guest and teaching us so much today.

00:37:17: Extremely welcome, thank you very much for having me on your show.

00:37:20: it's been fun!

00:37:20: If you're feeling invisible?

00:37:23: Having a hard time to break through the noise inconsistent with creating content not knowing what to say and how to say it but deep down you know your message and your work can change people's lives.

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00:38:05: Inside the program, you will learn how to clarify your message and stories so that you always know what to say.

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